Taxi Cab Confessions

Before I begin today's post, let me just comment on the comment "Hakim" left on my blog. He took Jim Morrison's name in vain. Therefore, he is a prick. Enough said.

Onto better things. I came back from visiting a dear friend today in Kfar Saba. Upon returning to Jerusalem, I took a taxi cab from the bus station. My bag was way too heavy to carry onto a bus. Anyways, I get in the cab. Here is the dialogue.

Taxi Driver: So I see you are not married.
Shayna: Nope, not married.
Taxi Driver: Well, can I give you some....ehhh....advice?
Shayna: Sure, what the heck says groggily, exhausted after shlepping around all day.
Taxi Driver: The army uniform these boys wear; they just a shell. Just a facade. You want an army boy, you find one with lots of bars on his arm.....and eh....a brightly colored beret. Because they are smart.
Shayna: You don't say?
Taxi Driver: Yes, I saw you as you were coming out of the bus station looking at some soldier. He's cute, no?
I plead the fifth.
Shayna: Yeah, sure. But most of them are assholes. So no worries.
Taxi Driver: Why you come to Israel?
Shayna: To study.
Taxi Driver: But admit that as a nice Jewish girl your intentions included finding an Israeli guy right?
Shayna: Turning red as a baboon's butt Of all te reasons for coming to Israel, finding an Israeli guy is probably the antepenultimate (this is a GRE word meaning the fifth to the absolute last).
Taxi Driver: turns his head around and looks at me quizzically Well I don't know this ante-thing, but you be smart. This uniform and gun. It's like a free corvette. It automatically makes them feel that their...ehh....how you say.... manhood is bigger.
Shayna: proceeds to have a spittake with a large amount of water Oh yeah.....sounds familiar.
Taxi Driver: I see good things in your future because you are a smart girl. And I have daughters and sons who I tell the same thing.
Finally arriving at my apartment, I pull my stuff out of the car and hand the guy 50 shekels.
Shayna: Thank you. Your advice was appreciated. Good night.
Taxi Driver: Laila tov, chamudah (sweetheart)!

Hebrew word of the day: K'niot (shopping).

Staying smart.