Shot Down.

So I was online at the Israel Aliyah webpage and found out that for students interested in studying for either a bachelor's or master's degree, if you make aliyah, you can have your entire education paid for by the Israeli Ministry of Education. Three ways to think about this:

1. Now, for me being the Cheap Jew that I am, my first inclination is to say "Yowza!!! This deal rocks!"
2. The cautious, Woody Allen-esque nebbish in me says, "WTF happens if I get called up for army duty?"
3. And the doting daughter Jew says, "Mom and Dad will shit their pants if I 'officially' become an Israeli citizen."

So stupid me, I'm reading a dissertation by a professor at Hebrew U, nursing a Caramel Frappucino Light at Starbucks, when Mom makes her nightly cell phone call. I decide to bring up this educational funding program. The woman, and then the man (my father) goes MENTAL! Dad says it doesn't have his blessing, Mom thinks I'll be sent out to Ramallah, Dad says he wants to be able to see me more often than once every 5 years, Mom says they'll come after me if "for some reason" I don't complete the MA (more than likely the reasoning being me having to come back to the States to admit my parents into a mental instituation). But they said that this was not the time to be discussing the "A" word ("A" being aliyah). Understandable since I popped this thing on them after they ate crap-ass Chinese food.

But seriously, I don't think they realize how truly serious I am about this. The whole aliyah thing, I myself, Miss "Send-Me-to-Israel-So-I-Can-Hook-Up-With-a-Hot-Soldier," am a little nervous about, as I said before. Oy this is giving me a headache. Let me let it go for one evening. Or a couple hours at least.