Al HaPanim: Literally.

Yesterday evening was quite an adventure. After munching on some hummus and challah around 10:30, I passed out. Al HaPanim, on my face. Literally. According to my fellow residents, including the one whose door I hit with my head, I complained of double-vision and about 3 seconds later, WHAM!, flat on the floor. Luckily, my forehead and nose took the brunt (is that the corrent word?) of the fall. It felt like a dream. Next thing I know, my favorite residents came to my rescue, propping my feet up, towel over bloody nose. I was freaked out. The wonderful people that are Magen David Adom (Israel's Red Cross) came to check me out and take me to the hospital. By the time they arrived. I had sat up and was cracking jokes:

Resident Ellie: Shayna, you need an MRI, a CAT scan...
Resident Timna: No she's fine; we'll see what the M.D.A. people say and go from there.
Ellie: Come on Shayna, you know you need an MRI.
Shayna: No, I need an enema, actually.
M.D.A. people begin to chuckle.
Timna: I'm glad I didn't have to give you CPR, I don't think my certification is up-to-date.
Shayna: No, thank you very much. My lips are chapped and I don't think either of us would enjoy it after eating garlic hummus.

I was taken by ambulance to the hospital (had a choice to lie on the stretcher which I fabulously took advantage of). Around 11:30, I was checked in; around 1:30 I was finally seen by a doctor.

Around 3 A.M. a very pregnant woman screaming as if in a wind tunnel was rolled in with a very frantic guy chasing after her with a giant duffel bag.

Resident Itzik: Boy am I glad to not be a woman.
Shayna: Even better, it'll be about 6 to 14 hours before she has the kid.
Doctors running by with buckets and linens
Twenty minutes later, the woman is being wheeled out of the emergency room on a stretcher with the newborn laying on her chest. She is the most collected and happy post-partum lady I have ever seen.
Shayna, Timna, and Itzik in unison: MAZEL TOV!

Finally, around 3:30 A.M., Itzik and Timna are in the waiting room, asleep on the chairs. I go up to the counter and finally just ask to have the blood shunt thing pulled out so I could leave and go to bed. "Hetzi Sha'ah" half hour they say. About 45 minutes later, the doctor from Marathon Man finally shows up and gives some ridiculousness to Itzik in Hebrew, sign my papers, and I am back in my apartment around 4:30. Slept today until 3 P.M. Wonderful time had by all. No need for a nose-job, I am good to go.